What 36 year old me would tell 11 year old me.

Middle School isn’t looking too promising huh? Well let’s not focus on the negative, instead, let me arm you with some truths.

Do not compare yourself. You do this all the time and it’s inaccurate to say the least. You don’t have a clue what these other kids are dealing with. You think their lives are better but it’s all bravado and fronting on their part. Most of these kids that look to have great lives are dealing with hell at home. Literally. It's bad for them in a way you can't comprehend. Which leads me to...

Develop compassion. This will help. This is godly. When you look at that one girl, you know the one that everyone seems to adore and fawn over but she’s not particularly pretty or interesting? Yeah, she has like a million boyfriends and they're all hot! What’s up with that? This is the female phenomenon called “a whistle only dogs can hear” which you’ll read in Sassy when it comes out in a couple of years...but I digress. That envy and bewilderment is not unfounded but it is unproductive. Maybe all those boys she’s with are to fill a void in her life. Somethings up, so send that girl some love and compassion. It makes your heart and soul stronger. Blessing people can only improve all situations. Learn to do this now, please, because I still struggle with it to this day.

Trust your instincts. Listen to that still, small voice. Go look up 1 Kings 19:12 (which is a book in the Bible). That’s what you’ve always been hearing. That’s who it is.

Bide your time sweetheart. There is nothing you can do to get out of the crappy town you live in or get out of the crappy school you endure. Spend this time in quiet germination. Have Mom take you to the library and read. No, not V.C. Andrews for crying out loud! Read Stephen King, Tolkien, C.S. Lewis...go get started. Stay up late and watch 120 Minutes and Monty Python and The Young Ones. Cultivate your interests.

And lastly please, please don’t put as much energy into boys as you do. Stop it. Have all the crushes you want certainly (something has to make school worth going to right?) but don’t lament not having a boyfriend. Do not internalize not having a boyfriend as having something wrong with you. Yeah, your kind of goofy looking now but you’ll be quite pretty in no time at all. You will find your husband when you are only 19 and he looks a lot like that boy you and Teri peel out of 6th period to oggle. Yeah, really he does, I’m not kidding. You'll have a really nice life with great friends and beautiful, clever children. You just have to get through the next seven years. Hang tight. XOXOXO